by Dr. Karen Sherman www.drkarensherman.com Dr. Karen Sherman offers information to help couples deal with potential relationship difficulties. Wedding Jitters Such a busy time for such an important event - your wedding! There are so many aspects to put together, so many details. Naturally, you want your day to come out just right, to be as close to perfect as possible. Many of you are also working full-time. So between working and planning, you hardly have any time left for fun and relaxation. You are constantly on the go and have little time for anything else. Your personal thoughts and feelings get pushed aside. Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you start to get a vague uneasiness, maybe even some strange feelings of discomfort. You might notice yourself questioning your choices. And worst of all, you find that included in your doubts is whether this marriage should even take place - is this really the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? These concerns are not unique. Some people refer to them as “wedding jitters.” Being anxious about such an important phase of your life is to be expected. Actually, if you had no concern at all, I might be a little suspect. Rarely are we faced with a choice that will have such pervasive and long-lasting implications. Therefore, not to be concerned would almost seem irresponsible. Granted, there are times when the anxiety is more than just jitters. Sometimes the reasons for getting married are not the right reasons. If you are experiencing very serious doubts about who your partner is or if this partner is right for you, talk to a trusted friend or family member. If you feel this person isn’t being objective, seek professional help. This is much too important a decision to be left unexamined. This is not the type of jitters that I am addressing today. Normal wedding jitters are brought on by worries and pressure. You respond by questioning your feelings. Or you might find yourself looking at your mate “with different glasses.” The cute noises he made now start to be annoying. The fact that he cannot remember what you did last week drives you wild. His dislike of your favorite ethnic food strikes you as narrow and prejudiced. How could you ever grow old with this person? In The Stress Of Planning A Wedding, I discuss that a wedding - though a joyous occasion - is also a time of stress. In times when you are overwhelmed with so much to do, your patience may wear thin. You may become irritable and short-tempered. Tolerance and compromise are words that have little meaning for you right now. All of this is quite normal. When the wedding is over and you are on your honeymoon, relaxing and recuperating (that’s what a honeymoon is for, you know), you will again feel the spark re-ignited! Wedding jitters are part of the package and really offer no reason for concern. They are temporary. Try to concentrate on all the wonderful aspects of your future together, and soon the jitters will disappear. Copyright © Dr. Karen Sherman www.karensherman.com